Define Your Day by The Words You Speak

There is a Scripture that reads, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit”.     Proverbs 18:21

 The words we speak come from our heart and show others our soul.

Several years ago I started a little challenge with myself concerning how I responded to others on any given day of the week when they asked the common question or greeting.

“How are you today?” That is such a wide stated question any more and one that we almost always have a generic reply.

I’m doing fine today, thank you. If it were Friday, I would be better. Under the circumstances, I’m doing OK.  We can reply to the other person in just about any way and most of the time they won’t even hear us.

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So I decided to challenge myself to reply with a word that started with the same letter of that day. For example, I might say on Monday that I am marvelous or on Tuesday I might be terrific.  I hope you see how this works and how you could pick any positive word to fill in the challenge.

Isn’t it amazing that we can Define our Day by the words we speak.  How often do you get up in the morning and just don’t feel like getting out of bed or you may be under the weather a bit and really feel like complaining to someone.

I have found that we are snared by the words we speak. (That’s a scripture also found in Proverbs 6:2) But if we will rephrase our words to how we want to feel, that will become our defining moment of the day. 

I’m pretty much a positive person as you well know but sometimes I go over the top. I don’t always do this for others, I do this for me.  I want to enjoy my day and I want others to be encouraged and uplifted when I speak with them or come into their presence.

I can remember when I was young and wanted to lay out of school for a day. I would get up that morning and tell my mother that I didn’t feel well and needed to stay home. I would often have to follow that up by visually showing her that I didn’t feel well by scrunching my face to look like I was in pain or I would cough in order to prove to her that I was sick. This became reality when my body and mind saw it. Medical Scientists tell us that we actually have the ability to tell ourselves we are getting sick or getting well.  Many studies have been done with Placebos where a study was done with a pill given to a person and told that the pill would make them better. In many documented cases the person was given a sugar pill instead of medicine. They were told by the physician that they were getting better and soon they showed signs of healing. This has been done with anxiety and even cancers.


Yes, we can tell ourselves that we are getting well and have a great attitude about it and often times our bodies cells pick up on this attitude and it boosts the healing process.

So not to go into that much more, I wanted to increase my daily verbal challenge. I have a good friend named Arlene K who I have also challenged to come up with positive words to meet the day. She shared with me today that Tuesday is Testimony day! I really like that. The bible tells us that many are healed by our Testimony and what a Great idea she had with that. Then she told me that Monday can be Miracle Monday.  I have another friend who took the same idea and said Friday would be Fantastic or Freaky Friday because she was preparing for the weekend.  

How about taking the Challenge for yourself. Keep it positive and uplifting for others.

Christ said that we would give account for every word that we speak.  He said that what comes out of the mouth proceeds from the heart. Let’s make our heart good and encourage others with the fruit of our lips.

Has anyone ever given you an ill word and it pierced your own heart? Do you know that children are most affected by the words we speak. I’m guilty of being negative with my children when they were growing up and I had to correct myself.  Often when a child does something wrong we are fast to punish them and slow to correct them with kindness. I have found that a child needs love and encouragement along with discipline in the right direction. Never tell a child that they are stupid or that they will never be this or that. You can direct a childs path by speaking words of life to that child.

So as it is with Children, it is the same with a Team or with a work crew. Speak well of each other and don’t gossip, tell someone each day how much you appreciate them and do tell your family that you Love them.

Until next time……… God Bless and may your Sunday be Super, may your Monday be Motivational and your Tuesday be Totally Terrific.  Keep it going!!!!!


Decide to Make a Difference

Do we really understand that statement? When we hear “Make a Difference”, what is it that we want to be different about? If the economy is good and the weather is good should we try to make it different? If our health is good and the neighbors relationship is good and the local ball team hasn’t lost a game, what can that statement mean to us?

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Consider this, would you agree that in any situation your presence can make a difference for better or worse?

Many people want to be different and they show up every day just to make things worse. It may be that they really don’t have that as a goal but because of their selfishness or greed they may make the wrong choices or decisions. They may have the wrong thing in mind. I know a fellow who is very friendly and very intelligent and he literally can do anything. He can rebuild an engine, he can take apart a computer and put it back together, he knows a lot about everything. He knows he is very smart and he usually shows it at the worst times. This fellow might be at a breakfast where two people are discussing an issue and he will overhear them and immediately interject his own thoughts without being asked. We can call him a difference maker right?

We all have friends like that and although they really don’t mean to be obnoxious they can’t help themselves. If he could only realize that he is making a negative difference instead of a positive difference.

I have another friend who is always thinking of others. She always knows the right thing to say and never discusses other peoples business. She will often send a card to a friend who may be down or bake some cookies to take to another. She has an unseen force called “Goodness” that makes a difference in peoples lives.

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Being a difference maker is an attitude. We should all adopt that attitude that whatever we do we will do it for good and be considerate of others. You might have good intentions to perform your job well today or to go the extra mile and help someone in their job but I have to urge you that often times you may have the right state of mind but the wrong state of time. Not all battles belong to us. I was in a roadside market one day when a little boy was crying for a bag of candy and the father was paying him no attention. In the fathers hands were a loaf of bread, a pack of lunch meat, a bag of chips and a large jog of ice tea. The child only wanted a small bag of candy and I took it upon myself to make a difference. I offered to purchase the child that bag of candy and the father told me that the boy didn’t need it. I went on to insist that it would be OK that I had some extra change and I was happy to purchase it. The father abruptly told me his son was diabetic. Do you see where my action would have been very dangerous for this child? However it was the attitude that I had and that father did tell me he appreciated what I was trying to do.

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Let’s determine in our mind that the people we encounter today and the places that we visit will be better off because we were there. Let’s be well aware that each decision that we make can and will impact the lives of others. I had a person to tell me one time that they had been watching me for weeks. That took me by surprise but then they went on to tell me that they were looking for someone with good character and good attitude to give advice on a matter. I hold that person as a dear friend today and we often share ideas.

The attitude of making a difference is powerful and the person that controls that power is you. Being a difference maker is not something that you have to force on others, just be there for them in their time of need. Look for the little things that you can do or the help you can give. It may be only a phone call to that person who feels lonely today but that can make a difference in their life.
Decide today to make a positive difference in the lives of others.


One Small Thing

One small thing can change the world. Can you think of small things that changed the path of mankind. How about the wheel, it allowed traffic and moving large things very long distances. Consider the sail that when attached to a ship could capture the energy of the wind and propel that ship across the vast ocean or how about the rudder beneath that ship which turns that huge ship in the direction that the Captain or Navigator would like to go. That rudder is very small in comparison to the sail and that ship but it commands the direction in which way it will go.

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When I was a boy in the days without car air conditioning we would drive with the windows down and I would put my arm out the car and flatten it out and if I would tip my hand up or down just a little, the wind would force my arm up. How many of you have ever done this?

Our own actions can also direct the outcome of a situation. Our deeds that we perform for others or ourselves are powerful. The things that we say and the words we use are .  One Small Thing is the least you can do.

           Yesterday while going to eat breakfast with my parents at a local restaurant something happened that brought this idea to mind. I had just parked where I could see my parents pull in and when they parked I got out of my truck. The parking lot wasn’t full and there wasn’t many vehicles traveling through it either. I had just got to the cross walk and another truck with one single person in that truck was pulling in. He was coming my way and would have been past me in just a few seconds but instead he stopped and motioned for me to go on with a wave of his hand. One small thing, one small gesture that really had it not happened wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

It didn’t take much effort but it did take one single decision by the guy in the truck.
I don’t know who he was and may never see him again but his action made an impact on me. It made me realize that Good Deeds are still alive.

                 Even the smallest of things can affect the lives of others.

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I really believe in the Pass It On Effect. I don’t like calling it karma because it’s an attitude that you have to believe in and participate in. You have to become a part of the movement in order to truly feel its effects. Sure he did something for me but he also reaped the benefits. When you do a noble deed, you brighten someones day. Helping others also does some things for you that you might not know. There is a small chemical in the brain called Dopamine that is released when you do a good deed. This chemical makes you feel good about yourself but it also does a great deal more than that. It also reduces stress and lowers your blood pressure. When you see accomplishment in your good deed your brain then releases Oxytocin and Serotonin that give you a natural high and makes you feel good about yourself and in general all things appear in a better light. Then there is that chemical called Endorphin which is like an energy booster in your soul. By doing Just One Small Thing, you reap the benefits in such a great way, but what about the other person. What does doing a good deed for a stranger do for that stranger? Well I’m glad you asked that question because this is what I really want to talk about. When you do One Small Thing for someone else, they also get the chemical rush of all of those brain super chemicals. They get an attitude of Hope and many of those individuals will pass it on to the next person. In turn One Small Thing can change the world.

Small things can lead to bigger things. Consider opening the door for the next person in line and allow them to go first. Help someone load their groceries, allow that car on the side road to exit. Shake someone hand and tell them how nice they look. Pay for someones meal in line when they don’t know it and don’t reveal it to anyone. There is inside of you a Super Hero called Lady or Gentleman, let’s introduce that person to the world.

I know by not you are thinking about what One Small Thing you can do for someone, I would like to know also. If you want to send me a note, I would love to hear from you. You can click the comments on my Web Site or send me an email to; The Power Of Positive Speaking; The Power Of Positive Speaking. com; The power of positive speaking web site.

Who Do They Say You Are?


Rep Follows You

I am a Photographer in my local town. We are in the Season of Christmas and I have been taking Santa Pictures for a local business. A young boy came in while we were photographing and asked me if I was Eddie Kilbourne. I guess he knew of my work or something about me. I have taken photographs in this town for years and have Posters and Images everywhere. I replied to him that I was and being the curious guy that I am I asked him what he knew about me being Eddie Kilbourne. He said, “You are a really good photographer”.  With this on my mind I was curious as to what else he knew of me and I asked him if he thought I was a good guy. He said, “Yes, everyone knows you and likes you.” That really made me feel good.

Have you ever stopped to think what others think and know about you.  There was a time in my life that I wasn’t very proud of who I was and I decided to change me. I began to be a person of good character and to make good honest decisions and actions first in my life. It didn’t happen overnight but I believe I have made great strides in reinventing myself.  We must put our focus on other people and their needs and not so much on ourselves. Others must come first!

Several years ago when Ross Perot was running for President he was on stage with George W. Bush and Bill Clinton when he made a comment where he finished his statement by saying, “I’m all ears.” It was funny because his ears appear large but what he said rings true.  Others are all ears when it comes to your reputation.


What makes a poor reputation? Choices made poorly are always the beginning of poor reputations.  Selfish habits and dishonesty will always result in a poor reputation.

Having a poor reputation or a bad reputation is hard to overcome but not impossible. It takes time to build or rebuild anything. You have to first decide what kind of person you want to be known as and begin building a foundation.

5 ways to Begin a Great Foundation for your Future Reputation

  1. Set a Goal to become the best that you can be and take the first step today.
  2. Think of others first and how your actions can help them to be a success.
  3. Always go above and beyond, be neat, professional, and on time.
  4. Speak well of others, do not gossip ANY. Become a Positive Speaking Person.
  5. Be Honest, Have Integrity, Do what you say you will do, and finally Love Others.Total Sum

Becoming a person of good reputation is like painting a house. You may not like the color or the existing paint may be fading. You have decided to give the house a makeover and new paint. Consider the costs and the work involved, it is worth it. It doesn’t happen overnight but it can happen in a season. Maybe this is your season right now. Think of how others will react when you decide to be the best you that you can be.

Everywhere you go, there are folks watching you and waiting for you to succeed or fail. Become the success that they expect. Be a role model for those who look up to you. You may feel that you are the underdog and no once cares but that isn’t true.  When you become a person who is trying to do the right thing, it may be tough at first but hold on to your values that you set and it will become easier. Don’t let others pull you down by talking about how you use to be, hold on and you will become stronger that ever.

Let the words you speak be the person you want to be.  Speak Strong Words of Confidence. Empower others with your words of Encouragement. Let the reputation of your life go before you and others will be glad to know you. Become a role model for others.


Words Can Heal or Destroy


“Words are actions and actions can heal or destroy. Make your actions ones those that heal others and in doing so you create a better world.”


Have you ever had someone say something that hurt your feelings? It’s true isn’t it that words can hurt and can even destroy.  

I overheard a mother talking to her child one day in an attempt to discipline her little boy. Now please know that the word discipline doesn’t mean to punish, it is a word that means to guide and instill the right path. In her attempt to get the boy to do the right thing she used this phrase, “Quit being stupid and do it right.” To that little boy those words were negative and hurtful. Did my mother just tell me that when I’m not doing something right, then I am stupid. What a wrong way to bring up a child in a world where success depends on how we look at ourselves. Another simple phrase is, “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Or then there is this one, “Can’t you do anything right?” 

The words you speak to another are giving direction to their next step. It’s true that the thing they were doing may not have been right but in addressing the negative we are also telling that person that if they don’t succeed, their only other option is defeat, failure, destruction.

Words are Actions not only for Children but for our Friends 

We have to realize that when we speak to someone, or when they ask for advice they may take the direction in which we lead them. Do we want to lead them down the road of destruction or to a place of success? Offer good advice if you know of it but be careful because the advice you give may not be GOOD.  We shouldn’t put ourselves into the position to offer words of hate, revenge, failure, violence. That is too often the selfish way out of a problem. Sometimes it feels good to the soul if we can get revenge or blame someone else.  Only give good advice.  Sometimes we don’t know what type of advice to give and we may agree with the other person while they are venting.  

Choose Good Words to Speak Life and Healing

In the Bible are many things that speak about our words and conversations.

Job 33:13, “My words declare the uprightness of my heart and what my lips know they speak sincerely.”

Proverbs 12:25, “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

When we speak to a child or to a friend, know that Your Words Can Heal or Destroy. Take the utmost care in what you say and how you say it because someones life may depend on it. I heard a story of how some children at school were being rude to another child and even began to tell him that he should go home and kill himself. The sad thing is that one day he did kill himself just because of the cruelty of others. What would have happened had someone encouraged him to be their friend or spent a few minutes of their day speaking words of encouragement or better yet stood up for him and told a teacher of the problems. 

In the Bible, Paul says in Ephesians 4 not to let any corrupt word come out of our mouths. He says to let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from us. 


When we offer direction, good advice, counseling in any form we should look for the future of what the outcome may be. Sometimes we may not have the correct advice to give but don’t let that stop you from good encouragement. You may not be able to solve the other persons problems but also don’t become a part of that problem by offering poor advice.  Be a friend to others and listen but don’t allow yourself to feed into the problem by continually being a sounding board. You may have to speak up and tell that other person that you recognize there is a problem that demands an immediate action. Instead of just listening to them complain, ask them what they have don’t to come out of that situation, what are their plans to overcome, what advice would they give to someone in the same situation.


Finally, there is power in Prayer: Sometimes the mind of man can’t solve the problems of man.  I also believe in prayer for situations. The Bible says in Matthew 18:20 that prayer between two or three will result in God being there with them. Find a good Godly friend and talk with them. Allow God to lead you and guide you through the daily encounters of situations and problems that may come our way. 

Going the Extra Mile

I have a Fantastic Story that I want to share about a young lady who went the Extra Mile. I was on a return trip from Central Virginia recently where I had just given a KeyNote speech for an Awards Meeting of Correctional Professionals and was craving a Frosty from Wendys Restaurant. It seems that I get a lot of inspiration from stopping at restaurants.   google-site-verification: googlea1820d523b3644ec.html


I pulled in to the Wendys at a midpoint in Central Virginia, gathered my money and went inside. I knew I wanted a Frosty but I wasn’t sure if I wanted the Vanilla or Chocolate. The waitress was waiting on a Father and Son so I waited my turn. I noticed that the waitress had a smile on her face that was such a delight to be in the presence of.  When my turn came, I stepped up to the counter and she so politely asked what I would like to order.

I told her that I knew I wanted a Frosty but please give me a minute to make up my mind. I told her that I didn’t know if I wanted the Chocolate or Vanilla and she immediately said, “I can do it half and half.”  She just solved my problem, and not only that but she said it with a cheerful smile like she had just solved all the world issues.

I was delighted not only by the suggestion but also in that she had responded so quickly to help me make up my mind. Now there was no one behind me so I knew she wasn’t trying to hurry me up and she really took an interest in trying to help me.

What Great Customer Service she displayed.  Wendys_frosty.jpg

This is exactly what the world needs, people that are willing to help and love what they do.  I immediately commented to her that her attitude and her quick response to help me was such a joy.  Wouldn’t it be so nice if every one acted like this young lady?  She was so eager to help, she was delighted that I was so pleased by her response that we both laughed.  I quickly said, “Well darling, why don’t you just make me that half and half Frosty.”

Friends, even while writing this I am still elated to see young people like this waitress who honestly want to help others.  Enthusiasm comes from the heart and is a special talent. Did you know that the word Enthusiasm comes from two Greek Words? En means “from within” and Theo comes from the study of “God”. So when we say Enthusiasm we are saying “I personally behold God on the inside”  Wow.


We talked for a few minutes and I told her how proud of her I was that she had such a great attitude. Her name is “TyKaijah”, I thought that was such a pretty name and one to remember.  I asked to speak to her manager who was named, “Wendy”.  How funny, (Wendy and she works at Wendys.) I asked the Manager if she accepted compliments on  behalf of her employees and of course she said yes. I bragged on TyKaijah and mentioned to the manager that she should hire more individuals like her with a good outlook on life.

Yes, I believe we need to brag on those people who display such a great attitude about work and life.  I’ve been in places and encountered people where they weren’t fun to be around and this makes your day tough.  It’s easy to give a bad review when we go into a restaurant but maybe if we gave good reviews when they certainly are good, we might encourage someone to do the thing that they did right again.


I like what Napoleon Hill says. You can start right where you stand and apply the habit of going the extra mile by rendering more service and better service than you are now being paid for.  “The Habit of Going the Extra Mile”. Napoleon Hill is the author of Think and Grow Rich as well as the Laws of Success.

The next time you get good service, no matter where you are. Tell the person how much you liked it and tell their supervisor.  This will benefit that person many more times over.  The Power of Positive Speaking

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Opportunities are like “4 Leaf Clovers”

Have you ever found a 4 Leaf Clover? There are countless of people alive today in the United States who have never seen a 4 Leaf Clover. What do you think would be the reason that they haven’t seen one?  The truth is they haven’t been looking.

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I have a good friend that is always finding them. Sometimes he will find 3 or 4 in the same small yard. I tell him he is the luckiest guy alive.  One day we were talking and I said, “Brian, how do you find so many 4 Leaf Clovers?” He said, “Eddie, I look for them.” Isn’t that a simple answer?  He just looks for them.  If we apply that thinking to opportunities it might just be life-changing.  Remember the movie Field of Dreams? “If you build it they will come.”  Allow me to delight you in a small business that I had the opportunity to build.  Many of my readers know I’m also a photographer and several years ago I wanted to photograph the area schools. The price the students were paying was too high, I had all of the equipment to do the job and I just wanted to try my hand at it.  I set a goal for myself, and bought a huge white erase board and wrote my plans on it.  I went to all of the local schools and gave my ideas to them about lowering costs and fast service and local business. It seemed that no one wanted to hear my offer.

Then at one of the local Graduation days, which was outside, the rain was pouring on the event. Students were getting soaked, the speakers were drenched, and the school photographers wouldn’t get their equipment out in the rain. I was there with my camera, in the rain with a hood over my lens. The Principal saw me in the crowd and our eyes met.  With a small nod and subtle direction of her hand, she silently told me to move in place to get the diploma shots for the students. I did this and posted the photographs on my website for all to purchase. (Of course at a Great price).


Later that summer I received a phone call from that same Principal and asked if we could meet concerning the next years school pictures. Wow, I had the opportunity that I had asked for. When we met, she asked me if I could give the school back a little more on a commission.  I took a deep breath because I really wanted to do that job but I explained to her that I had lowered the price much lower than the regular school photographers because their price was too high, and I didn’t have the room to give the school more back. She asked if I had thought about raising the price a bit for the students, and I had to tell her I couldn’t do that.  As I began to exit the room she said this, “Eddie, I just wanted to see if you were serious about helping the students, you’ve got the contract.!” Did you see that? I got what I asked for and there were several things that played a key role in this chain of events.

  1. I set a goal and wrote it down.
  2. I went into action and offered my services to the target audience.
  3. I found where I may be needed. (By mistake of course) and made myself available.
  4. I performed a good deed with taking the photographs in the rain.
  5. I offered a fair price.
  6. I stood up for what I believed.
  7. I was honest, and showed integrity.
  8. I received the contract that I asked for.
  9. I followed through with that contract for several years and had great response.    success-479568_960_720.jpg


The research shows that 4 Leaf Clovers are 1 in 10,000. That sounds like a far fetched  chance of finding one but that area is only about a 10 foot by 10 foot area. That is an area about as large as a small tent. So if you just go out and walk around for about 5 minutes the chances are that you will find 3 or 4 in no time flat.  Opportunities are everywhere if we are only willing to work for them.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “God hides things by putting them near us.”annlanders1.jpg

Oh yea, what about the photography business? That year was a great year. The students were all very happy with their School Portraits. The prices were the best in 20 years, the teachers were happy, the parents were happy and after that year was over we received the contract the next year along with two more schools in the region.  I had found a 4 Leaf Clover in my photography business.

What does it take to see opportunity? It takes a willingness to open your eyes to what is there and an attitude of helping others. I like what my mentor Zig Ziglar says, “You can have everything that you want if you help enough others get what they want.”