Live a Life Full of Purpose

The title of this article speaks for itself, Live a life full of purpose.  While that is simple to write and even more simple to say, it’s not that simple of a thing to do. Many of us, including myself float down the river of life going from one thing to another and seldom find our real purpose.  Have you ever asked that of yourself.

What is my purpose in Life?

One day while I was at work and talking to a good friend of mine, he gave me this quote about the Purpose of Life. I have known Joe Lewis for many years and he is passionate about life.  He believes in treating people right, spending time with family, love and hard work.  Joe said, “The Purpose of Life is to Live a Life Full of Purpose.”

Thank you Joe Lewis for being a wonderful friend.

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I believe each of us have times in our life when we find ourselves helping others or lending a helping hand. It may be in the form of giving financial help or in some way helping another with our skills or talents.  The one thing that gives credence to that word Purpose is when we are in that helping mode.

Simon Sinek who is the author of Start With Why has said, “Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress, working hard for something we love is called passion.”

What is it that you love to do?  What is it that you can do that gives you that feeling of accomplishment?  Overwhelmingly we find that helping others gives most people an adrenaline rush on life.  My mentor Les Brown loves helping people and he has found his passion in doing so.  It took Les years to discover that his passion was in helping others overcome adversity.  He speaks all over the world with motivation and inspiration in telling his own story of how he overcame his own obstacles in life and now he relates to others in how they also can overcome adversity.  Les began work as a sanitation worker and later on rose to a Radio Personality then discovered that he was really good at inspiring others.  He failed numerous times but got up each time to tell others that they could do the same.  Les says, “If you fall, try to fall on your back ’cause if you can look up then you can get up!” Getting up in life is the message he has, that is his passion.

My Father is a Pastor and he has found his passion in leading the flock of our Church.  Our Church, “CornerStone House of Prayer” is a small church located in the Appalachain Mountains of Virginia.  He says that anyone that comes through the doors is already a member and he loves them like he has known them all of his life.  I have to say he is truly a Loving Pastor and many could learn a lot from him in how he exudes in his love. He finds his purpose in his teaching about God and how we can form a relationship with our heavenly father.

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It may not make sense to others but if it makes you happy and it brings happiness to others, it is a worthwhile purpose.  Some things don’t make sense, like why do butterflies find just the right person to land on and that person ends up smiling and standing still for a moment.  One day my mother was standing on her porch and a hummingbird was in flight right in front of her face. It stayed there for a few seconds and it gave my mother delight.  Why did that hummingbird do that?  It had a purpose at the right moment.  My mother has told that story countless times.  If it makes you happy, it had purpose.

Joe Lewis is a one of a kind who is yet no different than the inner self that we each have. He laughs, he cries, he thinks and he is a human that is a joyful.  I was reading a facebook post of his and it went so well with this piece that I just had to include it just as it was written.

Joe Lewis-FaceBook Post 3-8-2020

“Sometimes you have to slow down, wait for your initial reaction to subside, and take it all in. This is personal growth and wisdom attained ,and it’s such a huge part of what I am working on.On my way home from work I recognized I was in a bad mood and was a bit hangry so I stopped by Taco Bell drive through intending to eat while recalibrating before I got home. As I’m waiting a little red girly car parks in the parking lot blasting hip hop at an ear shattering volume. My initial reaction was to get out of my car and march over and yell Turn that expletive down!”. I refrained and seconds later out pops 4 apparently by their shirts college softball players dancing and singing out of tune. Watching 4 white girls trying to dance to hip hop struck me as funny so I started chuckling. I had my window down getting this nice warm air and they saw me laughing and they started laughing. When I finally got to the pay window I saw them dancing at the counter and I kept chuckling. As I parked and ate my meal I started thinking “ 20 years down the road these young ladies will look back on this time as the best times of their lives. Because I held my temper today the immense joy they were displaying carried over to me and brought some joy to my heart from a much needed laugh. Those young ladies had no way of fathoming where I had just spent my last 12 hours, and they surely will never know how much I needed to see something that at first was annoying, but ended up being a big lift. The saying stop and smell the roses applies this evening.So often supermaximum security Correctional Officers fail to see a much needed good because all we see behind the walls is evil. SLOW DOWN and open your eyes and hearts my brothers and sisters.”

Sure, I’m making writing this article in a selfish way and turning it all toward being happy and helping others.  That is what I find in my purpose. Creating an atmosphere of happiness and encouragement.  That’s why the name of my website is, ThePowerOfPositiveSpeaking.com.  I am Eddie Kilbourne and thank you for stopping by.

The Need For A Mentor

The Need for a Mentor

Everywhere you look today there are broken families. This includes broken mothers, broken fathers and yes broken children. There are many reasons that families don’t remain together today and I don’t think that any family began with a break-up in mind. It happens and we to often take it blindly that it’s normal. It may be common place but it’s not normal.hands-holding-mentor-000035379134_medium.jpg

According to an article by NPR dated June 18, 2017,“there are 24.7 million kids in the U.S. that don’t live with a biological father.” That’s not to say that all fathers are the ideal family maker, sometimes their not. With this in mind, I believe more fathers need to learn how to be better fathers. Our modern day and time often asks that the Father or even the Mother work long hours and be away from the dinner table more often than not. When one of the parents is not available, the children lose a huge portion of guidance and direction and then set the example for their own children that this is the way it should be.

 

This same NPR report also says that children are 4 more times likely to be poor if the Father is not around. It goes on to say that Fatherless kids are also twice as likely to drop out of school.

The facts state that 7 out of 10 high school drop outs are fatherless.

Why all this talk about the Father? It’s because most of the time when a family breaks, it is the father that leaves. The mother is looked at as the natural caretaker and while most everyone agrees with this, it is unfair to the family as a whole. Anytime the family splits apart it affects everyone. Our goal should be to keep the family together.

Is this to say that families should stay together when for instance the father is abusive or addicted or maybe the mother has her own issues and the family feels the need to part their ways. Overall, at least 50% of couples will remain together if they get counseling and as they grow older together they learn to deal with each others differences. Does this mean they should suffer together until they get over it. Not really, couples that have children have made a commitment to them morally and they should try all that they can in order to remain together. They have to remember why they connected in the first place or were married. I am a huge believer in marriage rather than living together because it is a commitment of the heart.

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If we as a people don’t have morals then we will see a decline in every aspect of our humanity.

So as not to digress as to what this writing is about, we need to focus on the need for mentor ship for our children and young adults. This mentor ship is from both parents but this article will address the need for a Father Mentor or a Male Mentor.

On the website Fatherhood.org there is an article that is interestingly similar to the need for mentor ship in elephants. It was in Kruger National Park in South Africa where an entire herd of elephants was being transplanted to a different area due to the numbers of elephants in the environment. The harnesses that were being used to airlift the animals would not lift the large male elephants and only the young females and small elephants could be transported by helicopter. After they elephants were relocated, the young male elephants began to show unelephant like behavior. They began to terrorize other animals, even goring their neighboring rhinos to death. The female elephants could not control the young males and had no influence over them. Older male elephants were brought in and they immediately began to mentor the young elephants. It appeared that without that father figure in their lives they would allow a gang type mentality to rule their attitudes.
In this story about the elephants, it was a human oversight or mistake that left the father out of the program. When the mentor elephants were brought back in to the family, it created a normal atmosphere and one with discipline and leadership. The same goes for our human families that have been separated for whatever reason.
I work in a prison and the remarks that I hear concerning families is heartbreaking. There was one inmate in our kitchen that always did a great job and I often bragged on him. He told me one day how much he appreciated me letting him know that he had done well and he said, “I never got that from home.” He went on to tell me that they only words he received from his father were words of hate and anger. He said that type of role model is what landed him in prison. He thought it was normal to hit and use violence against someone for not getting your way. Who failed this young man? Was it his father or was it society as a whole? Have we neglected our moral responsibility to teach fathers how to be mentors? Was it a family issue that was handed down from generation to generation?

We as a society have to take the responsibility for some things. How do we remove hate and anger from our speech? How do we show our children that we need to express respect and honor? How do we bring back the golden rule in treating others the way that we want to be treated?

This is the Goal!! This should be our purpose!!!
Become involved in a Mentoring program in your area.hands-holding-mentor-000035379134_medium.jpg